Mind Control – Dealing with Healing

December 12, 2011 at 1:45 pm (Getting Memories Back, Mailbag, Mind Control, MK ULTRA, Monarch Programming)

We received a wonderful e-mail yesterday from a brave person who is on the same journey we and many others are — that of trying to get their memories back and doing it in the least traumatic, healthiest way possible. Where you spend as little time as possible banging your head against the wall. Uh … metaphorically, of course.

So often we get more than we bargained for when these memories start coming up — headaches, freakouts, nightmares, nosebleeds, and the list goes on. Sounds fun, don’t it? Anyway, she asked a few questions on this topic and has graciously allowed us to share our responses so that it might help others. Again, we are by no means getting memories back gurus. Or gurus of any kind, for that matter.

All of our information is based on our personal experiences, through much trial and error sometimes, and finding what works for us. But since everyone is different, what works for us might not work for you. Okay, enough with the disclaimer-y stuff, let’s get on with it:

[Update: We forgot to mention one of the most important things: Use your sense of humor often! If you don't have one, get one! This is a life saver. It may seem silly, but we would probably not have survived without being able to see the humor in things.]

1) When memories start to return, what are your techniques to help with moderating the flow, so that overwhelm doesn’t set in?

Overwhelm. One of the most fitting words to describe this process.

If you’re not trying to force the memory in the first place, this will help. Try to go some place quiet. Sometimes they are going to come no matter what.

  • If it’s really bad, get yourself in a warm salt water bath pronto. Make sure that you also immerse your head at least once so that it coves your entire body.
  • Sometimes talking out loud during the process helps because it acts like an additional pressure valve (another reason to be alone).
  • Also walking or moving your hands can provide the same benefit. Click a pen, pace, knit, play a mindless game on the internet — this can temporarily pacify your “keeper of the brain”, which is responsible for a lot of chatter. You will find that you are still able to get the memories and focus on that even though part of you is doing something else.
  • Stay neutral. So many of these memories are so bad that if you let even a tiny bit of emotion in, it will wreck you. Sometimes you will feel like a bad person if you don’t allow yourself to feel whatever you think the appropriate emotion is (horror, guilt, shame, especially). You are not a bad person for staying neutral during a bad memory, this is a tactic to save your life and sanity and the only thing that comes out of letting these emotions in is overwhelm or a breakdown. Do not fall into this trap. You must do whatever it takes to preserve your own sanity.
  • I (Miranda) have found many of Stewart Swerdlow’s techniques helpful, and some of them are my automatic go-to when overwhelm hits. Putting myself in violet, using the brown merger, and balancing my T-bar. Also there are many helpful tips in Janet Swerdlow’s book, Decoding Your Life. They don’t take a lot to memorize or execute, but they are very powerful.

2) Any suggestions on how to do booby trap overrides for more sophisticated programming overlays that are blocking or side tracking recall, or diverting one into self-destruct or sabotage routes?

Booby traps are hard, because often we, the programmed, do not recognize them when they strike. They are designed that way.

  • If, and I say ONLY IF, if if if IFFFFF you have someone that you trust with your life and very soul, and who knows and accepts who and what you are (this is a tall order), then they can be very helpful in gently pointing out that you seem to be triggered or caught up in a mental booby trap. If you don’t have someone like this, do not put any responsibility on them for trying to recognize this stuff, it will be potentially very damaging to you and best to not give them this role.
  • If the booby trap is one you are aware of, you can flush with violet.
  • Invent your OWN counter-programming — you have the power to do this. It is especially powerful if you access your own store of sacred power, symbols, and tools. Recognizing a booby trap already diminishes its power. Fight back with your own powerful imagery. The more you build on this, the stronger it will get.
  • Do not hurt yourself. I, Miranda, was a serious cutter for a time. This is a programming breakdown and a way for your inner programmer to seal up the leaks. It is very dangerous, and of course there is also suicide programming. Sometimes the urge can be so strong. What has worked for us is to get mad. That’s right, I said get angry, Big taboo, no? Just make sure to get angry at the right thing. Get angry at THEM for trying to control you. Are you going to let them win? They are going to win if you cut or harm yourself. Are you really going to give them the bloody satisfaction of being able to control you from a distance years later? Do you want them to win? Do you really want to give someone that much power over you? I DIDN’T THINK SO.
  • And don’t feel weak or guilty for wanting to hurt yourself. That will just make it worse. Listen people, Duncan was a hair’s breadth from blowing his ever-loving brains out all over the kitchen from suicide programming. It is very real. The more you hate or resent yourself, the more they win. Here is your chance to stick it to your handlers and programmers. Do it by laughing at them that they have no such control over you. Do whatever it takes to fight the urge, so long as it harms no one.
  • Some people who cut have found that drawing on themselves helps release the urge to cut. even better, draw protection symbols on your body. Find ways to honor, and yes, even worship your body. It needs it. Often programming gives one an almost erotic high when they think about self-harming. Rewire that shiznit in your head any way you can. Do something *actually* erotic, buy new lingerie, work out, do art, whatever.

3) Any suggestions on dealing with the black magic/technology attacks that are a little trickier to manage than the run of the mill demonico and discarnate attack stuff? (So far my best tactic is to keep switching defensive tactics and trying new things ALL the time. I personally employ a wide range of herbs, animal totem medicine, mental and etheric body sheilding, deprogramming ceremony or commands (I’ve employed some from Lisa Renee at Energetic Synthesis with good result), etc. It seems to mostly be working, but damn, its exhausting and requires a lot of creativity which isn’t always flowing when I”m in a recall phase and hence kind of shut down from these gifts.

One of the nice things regarding correspondence we get from people who were involved in projects is that they often have a very high amount of psychic ability. The forge of trauma, life, et al has tempered their abilities to recognize and use them. This means that we don’t have to start at the beginning with things that go bump in the night and work our way up. These people have a lot of expereince sometimes with this stuff, so no catch up is necessary. Like here.

This one is a little harder to answer, because there are frankly some things (especially inter-dimensional things) which have access to technology that we do not have the tools to counter. We call it black magic but we mean that to mean “technology that hasn’t been discovered yet (or perhaps technology that has been discovered for a long time but is being suppressed)”. Your counter tactics, changing it up all the time, are oone of the best measures we have found to deal with this stuff. The problem that we encounter with these attacks is that, whatever they are using, they have a way to re-calibrate their gizmos to deal with it so often what we try is only a one-off and won’t work a second time.

We could write a book about this stuff, as it’s impossible to cover in a blog post here. The only other slightly helpful information we can provide is that we seem to have the very best success when we access our very, most primal instinctual behavior. Sometimes we don’t know why we choose to do the things we do. Sometimes we suspect that our alter personalities come out in this “fight or flight” mode to help us. Sorry we could not be of more help with this one. we are the first to admit that there are things out there (especially the ones going after us) which have superior weaponry.

We just do everything we can to stay sharp, stay clear, and keep changing it up. Often a lot of these attacks are meant to wear you down so that you will become vulnerable to things you normally wouldn’t be. What do we mean by that? Offers to go work for the “other side”, and things of that ilk. Watch out for the long game here — they want you to get sloppy and make a mistake so they can get their hooks more deeply into you.

29 Comments

Getting Memories Back

November 16, 2011 at 4:09 pm (Getting Memories Back, Mind Control, MK ULTRA)

We have had a ton of e-mails over the years from people who have described being in similar MK-ULTRA-style projects as ours. As we work on gaining our own memories and trying to sort things out, we want to do what we can to try and help others out (We have also touched on this subject a little in an earlier post). This is a very difficult task, for a number of reasons.

One, many of the letters we get are written by people that have been so traumatized that they can barely string two sentences together and the resulting missive is largely gibberish. We can’t fault people for that, again, with so much trauma it can severely impact one’s writing and speech, but it makes it awfully difficult to wade through and piece things together.

Often, people just want someone to listen and say, “I hear you. you’re not crazy. This stuff happens”. That, in itself, is very healing. What is appallingly shocking is how prevalent trauma-based mind control is in our society. We have the letters to prove it. You do not have to have been involved in some uber secret government project to be a victim. As many of you know, Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) is alive and well and thriving, probably in your town. There is crossover to the government projects sometimes, but not always.

As people well know, child abuse, rape, trafficking, and exploitation is also not the sole bailiwick of government projects. Its tendrils snake (term used deliberately) into the shocking areas of religion, daycare facilities, and as recently discovered with the Penn State scandal, charities. This is the tip of the iceberg.

The point here is that while our main objective is and always has been to stop the government from utilizing, abusing, and killing children in its black projects such as MK ULTRA — we believe that ALL children everywhere should be protected and that government ops is only a fraction of the abuse and trafficking equation. The other point to be made is that these cases all have something in common. The abuse of children has been systematized.It is organized. These are rarely individuals acting alone.

So we write this post today to give our albeit feeble attempt at beginning to try and help all victims who are trying to gain memories of their traumatic pasts.

These are just some general guidelines that we have found to work for us. They are based on years of expereince, trial and error (a great deal of error). What works for us may not work for you. But if it helps someone heal, that’s a good thing.

Getting Memories Back

  • First, are you sure you want these memories? We know that in psychology there is the belief that problems have to be faced to be healed. However, in the case of extremely serious trauma, one tends to not only remember, but re-live the experiences. This can re-traumatize the person all over again. In our experience, we have found that some stones are better left unturned. Especially if you have a bunch of similarly traumatic memories, you don’t have to re-live every one.
  • Be very careful whom you trust. Many psychologists actually are part of the abuse system and handlers. That is not to say they all are. But you also run into the problem of not being able to find someone qualified to treat such horrific trauma and abuse. Most people with this level of trauma have DID, Dissociate Identity Disorder. That means you are a split personality. The psychiatric world has only recently (relatively speaking) begun to recognize this disease and treatment is still iffy. Also, if you trust your story to someone and they turn around and betray your trust, this could have devastating consequences. Unfortunately, we have no real solution for this because it is such a problem. Just be very careful in deciding whether or not to trust someone.
  • Go SLOWLY — We cannot stress this enough. What often happens when the door is cracked — well, it’s like the little Dutch boy pulling his finger out of the dam. Damn. The floodgates open and the memories come rushing out in a gargantuan tidal wave and you find yourself curled up in a little ball, totally unable to function. We have found that letting the memories come naturally, and not rushing them, is the healthiest way to go. It can get tempting — after all, this is your past and you’re finally getting answers — but easy does it.
  • Keep a journal. Often, our counter-programming kicks in and we will immediately forget what we remembered. This can get really frustrating. Some people find it difficult to keep a journal because it is scary to have things written down that others might find. The secrecy programming is strong. Use your own judgement on this. It can be very helpful but might be too hard for some.
  • Watch out for triggers — This, of course, entails finding and recognizing triggers and knowing what they are when you see them. Many people have the same triggers, but others have their own unique ones. For a comprehensive analysis of some main MK-ULTRA triggers and themes, a great website is the Vigilant Citizen.  Also Pseudo-Occult Media. Be careful, though — you have to find a way to research your triggers and stay safe from getting triggered when you find them.
  • Realize that you’re not alone — You’re not. Everyone on this planet is programmed in one way or another, it’s just a question of degree. This is the rule, not the exception. Do you want to be a slave to the multitudinous mind games or are you ready to take back your sovereignty? So are we.
  • However, be very wary of joining groups — Support groups, especially for MK ULTRA-related mind trauma are pretty much all infiltrated, and there are people out there paid to re-traumatize you and play mind games with you. It is sad but true. Yes, there are a lot of well-meaning people out there, but there are so few who really understand what you are going through and too many predators on the wrong payrolls. This is one of the main reasons we have not created a support group — we are just too darn leery and know that despite our best efforts, it would experience at least some degree of infiltration.
  • Don’t judge your memories – A memory can seem so out there, so wild, so weird, that your first thought is to dismiss it. Don’t do that — instead, file it away in your head (or journal). It may be that you get more memories back which will place this memory fragment in context. Try to be a spectator of your own mind. Remember without judging yourself.
  • Stay as neutral as possible — Traumatic memories, if you allow yourself to feel the full emotion behind them, are filled with so much horror you risk shutting down again. I (Miranda) have said before that if I allow myself to fully experience the emotion of some of my memories, I would start screaming and be unable to stop (and I also have a personality in there who does just that). Stay neutral. Otherwise it can just get too overwhelming.

We will post more on this subject, because it is such a vast one. Hopefully some people will be able to use this to help them during the lifelong process of recovering memories.

18 Comments

Getting Memories Back

March 22, 2011 at 12:12 pm (Getting Memories Back, Implants, Mind Control, MK ULTRA)

We received an email the other day asking a very good question:  How to get memories back?  I’d like to talk about that a little.

First, let me say that we are not experts.  Most of our experience comes from what we have had to go through personally.  But we will share with you a little about that, for those who are interested.

So this post is directed to those people who feel that they have experienced trauma based mind control.  This is how the mind is split and how the personalities are created and is often begun when the person is a child and the brain is not yet fully developed (all the better for them to work with).  To recap, trauma is used to being the individual to a point where they have only two choices:  split off  into a new personality, or die.

When we split off into other personalities, our core personality becomes completely unaware of what is going on when the alter personalities are in the forefront, also called executive consciousness.  For those of you interested in this subject, I strongly recommend reading the works of the amazing Dr. Colin Ross.  You will be hard pressed to find information about trauma based mind control, it is certainly not in the DSM-IV.   They only recognize Multiple Personality Disorder, now called DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).  Please also review our book list at the website on our Links page.

The two main types of mind control that Duncan and I have come across are those done as part of a government program such as MK ULTRA, or as part of Satanic Ritual Abuse,  The line is blurry between these as they both often intersect.

We have had so many letters from people stating that they were part of a program or feel that they have memories hidden.  This does not surprise me in the least.  If this post can help people even a little, then we will be very glad indeed.

So … how to get memories back?

First, we have to ask, are you sure you want the memories?  The reason we ask this is so many memories are just horrible, and can cause you to re-experience the trauma all over again.  For me personally, I have stopped trying to force memories out because when they come, they are just awful and can send me into a tailspin for days at a time.

Now, you could try Duncan’s method of memory retrieval.  Simply get into a very bad near-fatal car accident that damages your cranial implant and get into an MRI.  Voila, memories!  OK, I’m kidding here, but my point is that very often memories will return as the result of a head injury or accident, or a separate trauma that links to the original trauma.  Another example of this is that years ago I was being stalked and the trauma from that brought up repressed memories for me of being abused.

One technique that I have found to be most helpful is doing an exercise called the Green Spiral Staircase.  This could be classified as a self guided meditation, but it is more than that.  It uses color and symbols very specifically to access parts of the brain that have hidden memories.  This protocol was developed by our friend Stewart Swerdlow over at Expansions.com.  I have found several of his techniques to be very useful in getting back memories in real time.

Just please remember folks, it is so important to have some sort of support system while doing this work.  The fallout from this can be tremendous.  I strongly advise against plunging willy nilly into memories without developing the means to deal with what you may find.  Also, if you have been part of an MK ULTRA project, know that the programmers and the programming is extremely sophisticated.  They plant all kinds of booby traps in your head, and also things called Wernicke’s comands (see Metatech.org for more info on these).  You will never be able to undo what has been done, and you may hit upon programming that is designed to make you self-destruct.  Be.  Very.  Careful.

The other thing that we have found to be helpful in getting memories back is to explore what little information you already have.  For example, you may have a fleeting memory of something.  Focus on that one thing and look at every detail that you can see.  Allow yourself to “guess” at what happened before or next.  By saying it’s just a guess, you give your mind the freedom to open up the memory without judgment or censure and you may get more back.

In your life, look for things that cause a memory to surface.  Be wary of triggers.  We have found that simply by focusing on the intent to get memories back, they will start to come.  Sometimes maddeningly slowly, but they will come.  You may find it helpful to keep a journal or log, as a lot of times with memory fragments, things will come up that make no sense whatsoever.  This happens with Duncan and me a lot when we get memories back.  Sometimes one of us will get a part and then months or years later the rest will surface.  We keep going back to the same memories too, because rehashing those will often open up new ones.  If you take the time to focus on this work, you can get memories back.

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We Answer Your Questions!!!

October 12, 2010 at 7:47 pm (Getting Memories Back, Implants, Interviews, Mailbag, Mind Control, MK ULTRA)

Over the past couple of weeks (and has this been a rough couple of weeks), we have been bombarded with people asking questions that we thought we had adequately answered in interviews videos, etc.  Guess not!  So what we have elected to do in this post is to try once and for all to adequately answer those questions so that henceforth everyone will be referred to this blog post.

Question 1: What is Project Talent?

Answer: We will start with this question because the answer to this question is both very simple but yet very complex.  First of all, Project Talent was a sub-project of MK ULTRA.  MK ULTRA is like a very large umbrella in which over 172 sub-projects are known to have existed or still exist.  Remember, these are the projects that are known.  How many there actually are — who knows?  Someone does, but not us.

Project Talent was used to test children as young as four years old of specific families and specific bloodlines and in this area we are still learning.  Not everyone who was taken in to this particular project was a super psychic, although a higher than normal degree of psychic ability was mandatory to be taken into this project.

The best way that we know to explain this is thusly:  Imagine Project Talent as elementary school, where everyone goes through the exact same classes, training, and screening.  Then, we move on to secondary school, where abilities and talents are beginning to show.   The children were then separated into smaller groups and specific areas were looked at more closely.  Now moving on to high school, the subjects abilities aer fully known, advanced training in for lack of a better term what you’re good at, is then put into full motion.  and please note that age has nothing to do with the grade level.

Myself personally, I was moved into what most people understand as the Super Soldier Project.  Please note also I personally have never deemed myself as a “super soldier”, just that I was in that project, as were many others.   At which time various things were done to us physically to enhance abilities.  We were given implants to further enhance abilities, and even implants to control us — to effectively switch us on and off.

Yes, we understand this sounds like science fiction.  Please understand, if you had lived through it, you would feel the same way we do.  Look at the technology around you – how fast and far it’s come.  Is it really so hard to believe that this might be possible?  Everyday people get hand me down technology that the governments and corporations are decades ahead on.  Please note that the first cranial implant successfully performed was in 1923.  This technology is not as far-fetched as one might think.

Question 2:  You say that you and others like you have alternate personalities.  How can that be?

Answer:  This is a question that we will try to address without getting overly scientific.  For those interested in the science, we suggest the works of Colin Ross, and know also that Dissociate Identity Disorder is a classified disorder recognized and listed in the Psychiatric DSM-IV.

We were not born with split or alternate personalities.  Our alternate personalities were artificially induced.  They were done so using physical, emotional, and psychological trauma.  To make a very long story short, imagine yourself being a young boy, six or seven years old, strapped naked to a wooden chair, with needles being inserted underneath the fingernails, pushed all the way back to the root of the nail.  And understand, this process did not occur all at once.  This took place over many months, starting light and building to the crescendo, at which time you have a choice to split off into an alternate personality for the psyche to survive, or you die.  And yes we were given drugs to block the nerve receptors that allow you to block out or faint when the pain becomes too high.  We could not black out at all.  We only had the choice to split off or die.

Over half of the subjects that went through this process died.  Children.  Once the personality split, the process did not end.  The alternate personality had to be strengthened, conditioned, and put through training.  This is where cranial implants etc. played a very integral role in keeping the personalities separate.

This is just a short answer to the question.  Much more was done, but I think you can gt the idea.  And here we come to the main reason why I speak out about this: Again, this torture was performed on children.  By people who worked for and were affiliated with the government.  It was so successful, that it has continued to this day.  It must stop.  And as hard as we try, we receive almost no help in trying to stop it. Point of fact, we are laughed at and made into jokes.  Again, our sole purpose in all that we do and say, is to bring to light these horrific atrocities and to get them to stop kidnapping, torturing and murdering our children. So if you wonder why we do the things we do, always know that everything is done to try to bring this to light.

Question 3:  If what you say is true, why are you and others who have come forward like you still alive?

Answer: We get this question a lot, and it is a valid question (unlike many we get).  There are several reasons for this.  One of these reasons is not for lack for the lack of trying by certain groups.  I, personally, have had several attempts made on my life over the past several years.  But the biggest reason is threefold:  One, a war inside the intelligence community began in 1982, in which basically all of the groups split into two main factions. One faction does not want us dead.  They still see us as a viable resource in the future.  The other faction wants nothing more than to see us pushing up daisies.  So please keep in mind, these two factions are at war with each other and we are in the middle.

The second reason is proven to us by the letters we receive.  Most people don’t believe any of this or refuse to believe any of this, either out of ignorance or fear.  However, information about these projects is coming to light.  A lot of that information is out there, you just have to look for it.  One item being the release of the CIA “Family Jewels”, where on one page, they admitted that they tortured children to create alternate personalities to be used as assassins.  This is the CIA’s own admission.  Going even farther back was a New York Times article, in which the United States army admitted using implants in special operations units to enhance their abilities.   Sounds fantastical doesn’t it, but did you read just recently where the US admitted to doing horrific experiments on unsuspecting people in Guatemala?  And this list goes on and on.  Research it yourself.

Thirdly, we were an experiment.  We are still an experiment.  And the experiment will continue until it is stopped.  They continue to test us and collect data and observe us, because there are not that many of us left, and they need us for their research.

Question 4:  How could your parents just hand you over to this group?

Answer:  With the knowledge that my father worked for the CIA, and with the knowledge that these projects are performed through generations of a single family line, I do not believe that my parents had a choice.  I believe what they did they did to protect the rest of the family, i.e. my siblings and others.  I have never spoken ill of my parents except for one accusation of child sexual abuse done against me, but again, I will state I do not believe they had a choice.

When two parents have four children and they are given a choice: Let this be done to one so that the other three will be left alone, what choice would you make?  I am also well aware that another of my family members was also in one of these projects.  Maybe someday, hopefully, she will come forward.  I hope this puts to rest this question, once and for all.

Question 5: This next question we get asked from time to time, but over the past several days it seems to have become a sore spot for some people in the martial arts community, and I must say, for the record, I am saddened and sickened by the present state that I find the martial arts community in.  There is no respect, there is no honor.  All I read is trash talk.  If I were looking to put a child into a martial arts class, and did the research, I would have to say there is no way that I would.

The question is:  What was the extent, the lineage, the ranking, etc. of my martial arts training?

Well, it goes a little something like this:  All of us that were in my group in Project Talent, both make and female, began their training with Master Tan`.  Tan` was half Filipino and half Korean.  This man was undoubtedly one of the highest skilled martial artists I have ever met in my 50 years.  The training that we were put through under Tan` — to say it was brutal would be an understatement.  When being taught in a group, his assistants walked among us with shock sticks (think cattle prods).  These shock sticks were used on us, not only to correct us when we made a mistake, but to make us try even harder when we were doing everything perfectly.  And yes, we still carry the physical scars of these shock sticks.

Along with the empty hand training, we were taught escrima, knife fighting, sword fighting (with various types of swords), and a variety of some rather exotic weapons.  Our training with Tan` was done over many years.  The last memory I have of Tan` and I being together was roughly 1980-81.  No, I won’t say that I killed him.   And no, there was no belt ranking system in this training.  Belt ranks mean very little.

Other training I received was both from my step-Grandfather and my father.  From my Grandfather, the training was mostly pistol craft, throwing weapons, knives, hatchets, axes, etc.  From my father came kickboxing and continued training in escrima and knife fighting.  I did a stint in my young late preteens through mid teens in Shao Lin-do.  At roughly eighteen to nineteen, I started training in the Chuck Norris karate system.  I then met master O.K. Kim, who was a fantastic instructor and just a great guy to train under.

My last examination, I was promoted to 5th dan.  Again, ladies and gentleman, rank means nothing to me.  I have actually seen 7th and 8th degree, so-called masters have their clocks cleaned by virtual nobodies.  It’s how you train that matters.  And rank don’t matter squat when you’re fighting for your life.  Another question that was asked that goes along with this is, what do I teach?  Do I teach the CIA or blank training?  Let me set the record straight – I don’t teach.  I havent formally taught in years and years and in all likelihood will not teach again.

And to answer a specific question as to what happened when the training I received in the project broke through while teaching in a normal dojo setting, in answer to that, I hurt people — that’s the main reason I don’t teach anymore.  I have no desire to hurt anyone, unless that person tries to hurt me or one of mine.

Question 6: The next question is more of an accusation than a question, but we’ll answer it anyway:  The accusation is: You’re only doing this for the money.

Answer: Show us the money!!!!

How can anyone say we’re doing this for the money?  There is no money in this for us.  We are and have been coming forward with information that the majority of the people scoff at.  No one gives us money.  We have never asked for anyone to give us money.  We work, we pay our own way.  We don’t even ask for donations to pay for our website, we do it on our own.  And people say “Well, you’re doing all these interviews — you’re making money”.  Let us clue everyone in — no one gets paid to do an interview — not even a television interview.

Do an internet search for my book, you will see that there are many sites selling it.  None of them have my permission to do this, and they are all profiting off of my story when I do not see one dime of that profit, nor do I have the funds to pay a lawyer.

We tried to have a conference and both our website and our PayPal account got hacked.  We ended up having to cancel the conference due to threats to our speakers, and having to shell out over $1200 above and beyond the refunds we gave because of the hackers.  We are aware that some people were refunded twice.

So, the accusation that we are only doing this for the money is ludicrous, laughable, and insulting.

And, for the people who say I do this for the attention — have you seen the comments I get and the way I get treated?  Do you think we enjoy this type of treatment?  Please people, use some common sense, and, think again.

Question 7: The next question we are asked numerous times is how do we deal with this on a daily basis?

Answer: Well, some days, we don’t.  There are some days all we want to do is find a hole, crawl in it, and backfill it on top of us.  but we can’t do that.  So, we force ourselves to get up and deal with it.

Someone very recently posted a comment to a forum that states “The only thing O’Finioan is afraid of is his nightmares.”  You’re damn right.  We wouldn’t wish our nightmares on anyone.  Our nightmares consist of us reliving what was done to us, what we did to others, things that we can’t explain.  And every time we talk about this amongst ourselves, answering questions in interviews, we have to relive this hell all over again.

The other thing we are asked in this same category is, don’t we get angry reading all the vile, despicable remarks said about us?  Well, there are many things we could say about that.  Does it bother us?  No, not really, because we know what’s true and what really happened.  It’s up to each individual to asses the information and make their own determination.  And, as the comedian Ron White says, “Ya can’t fix stupid”.

So, if people wish to use their time and energy to try to belittle and condemn and just out and out be nasty at us, then the only thing we really have to say about it is — have fun.  We hope someday you find something in your life worthwhile to focus your energy on.

It has been our experience that the majority of the people who make these types of negative and derogatory comments are usually very fearful people.  They don’t wish their paradigm to be upset.  They don’t want their way of thinking to be challenged.  They like things the way they are, and to hear us talk about things that were done by branches or groups inside the government is like throwing a bucket of icewater on them.  It’s easier to make fun of something than to have an open mind about it.  it’s just easier.  And we do live in a society that thrives on doing things easier.

Question 8: We have been getting this next question almost daily for the past couple of months, and we have really debated how to answer it, or even if we should answer it.  So, I, Duncan, answer this question personally.

What are my thoughts of Aaron McCollum?

My answer to that question is very simple:   A boot full of cold piss. Nothing more to say.

Question 9: Our final question that we are going to answer in this post is, Who is “We” and who is this Ax person that you talk about?

Answer:  Well, to start with, Ax is the lady typing this post.  I am merely dictating the post.

To begin with, Ax is my female counterpart.  While I was first generation Project Talent, Ax was second generation Project Talent.  We were trained together to work as a team.  Not only did we train together, but we fought together and nearly died together numerous times.

Ax is someone I owe my life to many times over.  Ax and I have known each other since I was a young teenager and she was an even younger girl.  Our training began that far back with each other.   We continue to be partners and a team and will always remain so.  Ax and I carry the same heartaches, pain, and memories, and we deal with them together.

Nothing else need be said.

We may do a post like this from time to time, as the number of questions in specific areas grows.  But don’t count on it.

Until next time . . .

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